Mood : Just plain weird

Hmmm, my first journal entry. Never thought I'd do something like this. Don't know, I guess I always thought I wasn't journal material or something. So, instead of wasting it away, I think I'll pour in some of my crap here, since lying in the scrap book is absolutely baseless for it. It's not like this journal's any better, but atleast it's a start. And methinks I'm developing a fetish for those cool stamp things I see around dA. NTS : LOOK FOR THE STAMPS OF THE CLUBS I'VE JOINED.

Anyway, here's some pondering from my deluded mind...

Crap Pt. 1

I force myself to write happy,
Yet this madness seeps through
In forbidden phrases of squalid pallor
Which escapes realms of mortal parlance.

I do not wish to condescend,
I do not wish to make you cry.
All I try is to write happy,
But my black pen just denies

To spew the white words I contemplate
To smear in this pure sheet.
Black is not white, I will agree
Yet of grey, there is no sign.

A few white words I do get
To write in the white sheet,
But the transition from white to red
Progresses with the speed

Of death and now, back again
To sanguine malice and wrathful hate.
The art that drives my loved ones away,
But also fuels the machine of my body.

My wretched heart bleeds black
A colour that defines me,
Try to fill me with untainted white
And I’ll wreck purity with pain.

There is no point in trying to change me,
Your wanton attempts will fail,
Direct your incentives on something else
That shows prospects of changing for you.

I am me, you can do nothing
In your limited attempts to pull
Me back to your sanity, for
I loathe what you live everyday.